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A year has passed since I saw this client, when I first met her last year she was dressed modestly reflecting her conservative religious background. She seemed disassociated and dozed out and did not hold one single eye contact during the two hours session.
This beautiful woman in her 50's got too comfortable in a bad marriage for over 30 years, and now with an empty nest she is facing the great fear of questioning her existence, and discovering the roots of her chronicle depression. Have you ever suffered depression? share with me.
"Plenty of dysfunctional marriages around me, and people are not as depressed as I am, I love my kids, but I am not connected to them, I cooked and did their laundry but I was never sure if that was love. This is the kinda love I received from my mother and I know nothing else" she said gazing at the floor.
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While we are talking she mentioned that she always feels like she is constantly running to or away from something, she expressed that in a cold poker face.
I was curious to know more. At what point this beautiful soul got disconnected from herself that she couldn’t even hold a connection to her own children. What exactly that intense self-truth that she is running away from.
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After a few minutes and some hypnotic exercises, we were diving into her subconscious, floating in time and space healing old memories, everything was going as a regular hypnotherapy session until she said something interesting, she mentioned she is not sure if she is a man or a woman, BAAAM..JAKPOT, we dug deeper and sounds like this soul has lived her life in a female body that she didn’t feel she belongs to.
"I am a man trapped in this body" she said. I asked her if she would me to address her as a man but it didn’t feel right for her, I guess too soon as that was the first time she discovered, formulated, and vocalized that thought after burring it so deep under piles of shame.
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Whether she is a man or a woman, this beautiful soul lived her life with a gender dysphoria, but that is not the worse part, shaming herself for questioning and discovering her truth have disconnected her from her authentic self.
I held the space to my client showering her with acceptance and safety, at the end of the day whatever physical body and gender the soul is occupying; we are all loved, welcomed and respected in life. Get to know me
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